Writings of a darkened mind

ryematt13 · Unread postby **ryematt13** » 06 May 2008 18:39

The following writings are a number of poems and songs that I have written, mainly in the past year. Many of the writings will have an explanation to go with them. Let me know what you think.

Social Expectations

I wander through the forest
Just three hundred yards away
Leaving myself behind and
From physical being I stray

Again I am alone
But many within reach
I understand your words
But cannot hear your speech

I focus all my energy
On leaving this cursed place
Dark clouds rest at my shoulders
As raindrops fall on my face

Again I am alone
But many within reach
I understand your words
But cannot hear your speech

The goal on the horizon
But seems not any more near
Striving for the coming end
But ahead rests pain and fear

Again I am alone
But many within reach
I understand your words
But cannot hear your speech

Many can see where I sit
But no one knows where I stand
My mind creates my being
As I tread through this new land

Again I am alone
But many within reach
I understand your words
But cannot hear your speech

Untitled

Living like in Walden
Nature

Unread postby **DNRpuppy** » 06 May 2008 18:47

Nice job! *thumbs up* ;D

Unread postby **Serge** » 06 May 2008 21:47

Great rhyming, good choruses, good overall! I like "Social Expectations" the best

"I understand your words
But cannot hear your speech"

^.....love it!

ajs8713 · Unread postby **ajs8713** » 07 May 2008 08:15

yeah thats some awesome writing. Good job. ;D

Unread postby **Donna** » 07 May 2008 17:48

These are great ..hope you will share more in the future!

ryematt13 · Unread postby **ryematt13** » 08 May 2008 02:46

thank you. i hope to have more to post soon. these are all ideas that i hope to use these ideas for songs in my band. im trying to get my band going and trying to make a sample

ryematt13 · Unread postby **ryematt13** » 08 May 2008 16:58

It flattens at the crest,
But only for a time.
The battle never ends,
So onward we climb

ryematt13 · Unread postby **ryematt13** » 09 May 2008 14:07

here are some things i'm trying to work into songs for my band. let me know what you think

Yin/Yang

There is a light
It shines upon your face
It takes away the darkness
But it brings out your disgrace

Showing off your weakness and
How frail you really are
Yet sill the same old angel
Lying in my arms

Unread postby **Katy** » 17 May 2008 05:07

I really love the visual imagery that you used in Social Expectations and I truly feel that is something we can all relate to.

These scenes inside my head
To help to set me free
I made a world of fantasy
To escape the terrors I see

This verse in particular is well said. I think that if you added the word "that" after terrors in the last line, it would flow better with the rhythm though.

This is how you left me
With my heart clenched in my fist
Death is awaiting my next move
With blood streaming from my wrists

I think it was a good idea to end this one with this verse because it's so impacting and strong and realistic. Great job!

Two Worlds is something we all have to deal with and I think that you captured it perfectly and described it from a very personal point of view. Thank you for sharing this one.

[i](Verse 3)
I remember how you

SPWC