The path of the wouded
Posted: 10 Mar 2012 08:18
Hi guys! 
I'm French and still in High School. My English teacher asked me to write a poem in English about War. I'm not bilingual so I may have made mistakes. However I would love to have your point of view and if you want to give me advice I would love to read them.
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The path of the wounded
I've been put in a train,
Crying all my tears,
Screaming her name,
Gripped by fear.
Just arrived,
They opened the doors.
I survived,
So I look outdoors.
In front of me, a road
Stopped by a steal gateway.
I jump off the carload
and land on the quay.
I was now able to see it :
Looking like a village,
With his high smoking chimney,
and his huge warhouses surrounded by cottages.
It would have been a lovely place...
Yet, I was torn,
Torn by a devastating feeling,
I wasn't well-born,
With my yellow star shining.
And then I understood,
In this Hell's Silence,
Ending my childhood,
Erasing my innocence, my ignorance...
It would have been a lovely place,
If it wasn't the place of our doomsday.
We were walking straight ahead,
in tight formation,
Towards a shed,
Confirming my hopeless expectations.
Then we passed through the "Arbeit macht Frei" main entrance,
Where liberty is actually utopia,
Don't be fool, it's not a matter of chance...
Welcome to the death area.
It would have been a lovely place,
If it wasn't the path of the wounded
The highway to hell
The begining of the end.
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Feel free to comment and if you see some mistakes, it would be nice if you could help me to correct them
I'm French and still in High School. My English teacher asked me to write a poem in English about War. I'm not bilingual so I may have made mistakes. However I would love to have your point of view and if you want to give me advice I would love to read them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The path of the wounded
I've been put in a train,
Crying all my tears,
Screaming her name,
Gripped by fear.
Just arrived,
They opened the doors.
I survived,
So I look outdoors.
In front of me, a road
Stopped by a steal gateway.
I jump off the carload
and land on the quay.
I was now able to see it :
Looking like a village,
With his high smoking chimney,
and his huge warhouses surrounded by cottages.
It would have been a lovely place...
Yet, I was torn,
Torn by a devastating feeling,
I wasn't well-born,
With my yellow star shining.
And then I understood,
In this Hell's Silence,
Ending my childhood,
Erasing my innocence, my ignorance...
It would have been a lovely place,
If it wasn't the place of our doomsday.
We were walking straight ahead,
in tight formation,
Towards a shed,
Confirming my hopeless expectations.
Then we passed through the "Arbeit macht Frei" main entrance,
Where liberty is actually utopia,
Don't be fool, it's not a matter of chance...
Welcome to the death area.
It would have been a lovely place,
If it wasn't the path of the wounded
The highway to hell
The begining of the end.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feel free to comment and if you see some mistakes, it would be nice if you could help me to correct them
I'm happy you like it