Corrupt a Wish

[Mandi]

Granted, but you've lost your fingers feeding an alligator while trying to ge the perfect shot!


I wish my laundry would fold itself.

[Tim]

Granted but you are wearing it when it decides to fold itself and it twists your body into very painful postions...you die a slow and horrible death. On the plus side your clothes are wrinkle free for your funeral.

I wish I was a cheerleader.

[Zach]

Granted, but you cheer for a team that has no fans whatsoever. Worse yet, the only cheer that you can do is Toni Basil's Oh Mickey, and you must perform it at least 45 times per day in public.

I wish that my cat was more comforting when I'm feeling blue.

[theanarchypoet]

Granted now its stuffed, more comfy now.



I wish i had a job

[paulmason]

granted, you are now a pig tail curler. and its volunteer work, you recieve no pay.

i wish i had the ability to cure all pain.

[Jane]

Granted, but now you are the only one that feels it.

I wish my house would clean itself

[LadyJeannette]

granted, but the "smart" house decides that you are also foreign contaminate and trys to clean you with scalding hot mists and a giant wire brush.

I wish the weekend was longer.

[Tim]

Granted – In order to improve morale in the country the government extends the weekend from 2 to 3 days, but in order to put more people to work and simulate the economy the government extends a week from 7 days to 365 days or 366 days in a leap week.

I wish I was immortal

[Kemmy]

Granted, but you develop a fear of the outside world and spend eternity inside your home.

I wish it was never cold here.

[paulmason]

granted, the people of montreal decide to warm the place up a bit, so they set you on fire and sit around your burning corpse roasting marsh mallows and singing camp songs.

i wish i had an ipod

[Kemmy]

Granted, but you get electrocuted every time you touch it and it explodes the first time you manage to turn it on. Apple has now banned you from ever owning another one.

I wish it was Friday.

[Mandi]

Granted, but you have to work the weekend AND all next week.

I wish my dog wouldn't be so aggressive.

[N.E.G]

granted, now it cowers at every sound and pisses in inconvenient places. Every time.

I wish I was better at ironing pants.

[Odd One]

Granted, but the only way you can be better is to iron them while you are still wearing them.

I wish people would stop inviting me to be their friend on Face Book!

[Jane]

Granted, but in order to do so, you have to delete your facebook account entirely.

I wish I didn't have to do this stupid history paper.

[Odd One]

Granted, but now you have to do a paper that is twice as long about non-stupid history!!!

I wish all the traffic would dissappear for my evening commute!

[David]

[Zach]

Granted, but in order to do so, you have to also transplant the hair from your eyebrows onto your head...and they don't grow back.

I wish that I could shake this paranoia and anxiety.

[Odd One]

Granted, but sadly it didn't last............they wouldn't allow it

I wish good things for everyone

[Mandi]

Granted but now there are no good things left for you.

I wish I could dye my hair whatever color i wanted and it not be against the company dress code...