Idiots of 2008
Posted: 29 Aug 2008 17:25
Hahahahaha this is freaking hilarious! Sandy sent this to me and I though I would share. These are all true stories threw out this year.
~Sandy~
Subject: Fw: Idiots of 2008
One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in
very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no
need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
her that she better
bring her daughter in to the emergency room right
away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it
for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch
and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in< BR>> line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a
few minutes in line,
he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising
from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the
harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it
was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either
have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
back to Bank of
America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
'OK' and left. He
was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at Bank
of Amer ica.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of
his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph
of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police
that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........
But you still get a sign .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2008
A guy walked i nto a little corner store with a
shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe
you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and she put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
gave the name and
address of the robber t hat he got off the license.
They arrested the
robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'
> When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega ,
Wisconsin ) We recently had
a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request
the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too
many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I
don't think this is a
good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
~Sandy~
Subject: Fw: Idiots of 2008
One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in
very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no
need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
her that she better
bring her daughter in to the emergency room right
away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out
of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it
for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch
and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in< BR>> line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a
few minutes in line,
he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising
from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the
harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it
was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either
have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
back to Bank of
America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
'OK' and left. He
was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at Bank
of Amer ica.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his
car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of
his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph
of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police
that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately
mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........
But you still get a sign .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2008
A guy walked i nto a little corner store with a
shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe
you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and she put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
gave the name and
address of the robber t hat he got off the license.
They arrested the
robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'
> When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega ,
Wisconsin ) We recently had
a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request
the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too
many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I
don't think this is a
good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
