SPWC

Every day. Missing her. It feels like all because of my girlfriend's newly retarded (Not really, just makes some stupid decisions) mom, school, and other friends, it feels like she's dying on me. I constantly worry about her. I'm afraid that she's cheating on me behind my back, even though I know her. She'd never do that. (And nobody give me that crap that I don't really know her.) I can't stop the headaches anymore. So much fear. Too big of my expectations and wants. She's the only one that can never fall into place on my path. I keep on thinking that the worst is happening to her, or that she's doing the worst. My dreams are haunted some nights, by my worst nightmare. I'd really rather not talk about it, but I feel as though I need to address it. In this dream, I am forced to watch as my girlfriend is bound, raped, and killed slowly. I've already told my girlfriend about this dream, and I ended up in a lake of my own tears, cradled in her arms. I try to listen to love songs, but it only makes things worse. I know that both she and I need serious help. My help so far, has been channeling my feelings through poems and songs. She draws and works on her Mac with a paint-like program, but ever since her f***ing stupid mom took away her computer, knowing FULL-WELL that we are being given more work that NEEDS to be done on computers, my girlfriend gets more and more pissed...and isolated from me. And my GF's mom gave me the whole 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder' card. Well I came up with THIS:
'Distance may make the heart grow fonder,
but leave it too long and that heart will wander.'
I'm afraid that it might be coming true.
*Sigh* Might as well end this now, before it gets too long. Too late.
How come crying never helps?
Noone comes to rescue me.
But I don't wish for just anyone to rescue me.
Please, someone just knock some sense into me.

And of course. Noone cares. Figures.

Just read it. I'm not good at responding to emotional things. To much sad, freaks me out, to much happy freaks me out. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, sounds like it sucks, but I can't hug you from here. Just a virtual hug, and I can say it'll all get better but that doesn't mean it will, just that I hope so.

I'd tell you everything happens for a reason, but last time I heard that someone got slapped.

Hey, it's times like these you need to keep strong. Not only for yourself, but for your Girlfriend. I'm sure she knows that you love her. She just needs you to keep strong. Do exactly what your gut tells you, if you don't things could end up even worse.

I sure hope I can keep it. And I also hope that her stupid mom will get off her back, and give her back her computer. And I hope that school will become a little tiny bit easier for us...so that maybe I can get to see that old self of hers again. So I can hear her say 'I love you' again. So I can hold her again, and lay under the stars, and hear her howl under the full moon. Her furry side would be a wolf. And personally, mine would be a fennec. Anyways, all that's keeping us apart is a few nuisances in our lives. And I really don't think she'd leave me. She still loves me. And I can safely say, that I'll definitely feel the same way about her, for a long time at the least.

I can surely put this here. That whole phrase 'There are tons of other fish in the sea', that's not for me. Cuz I may find someone else, but I'll never find anyone that makes me feel the same way I do for Faith. And It's not her looks, or money, or anything material she has, although I do love that she's trying to play guitar^^. It's just something about her that makes me feel alive and almost like I'm dead at the same time. I love her too much, is all.

Hey, thanks for listening. So to speak.