Here we are,
Here we stay,
Never to far,
We can’t get away.
Shadows come,
Shadows pass,
Don’t know where from,
Or how long they’ll last.
They eat at us,
They eat at me,
There’s no time to fuss
We’ll never be free
These shadows yell
These shadows hit
This is my hell
Perhaps its time to quit
The pearl is white
The pearls is red
This is no new blight
Perhaps I’m already dead.
Who will mourn
Who will cry
I am worn
We all die
Shadows are here
Shadows are there
I’m stuck in this fear
Lifes not fair
The shadows pull
The shadows tug
I begin to corrode
I must now shrug
The pearl is white
The pearl is red
The grip is tight
My hopes in shreds
Here we are
Here I stay
Never to far
I will never get away
My name is on this stone
My legacy will never be told
The wood is my home
This martyr is always cold
please tell me what you think even if you hate it... well... you know
Poem I wrote awhile ago
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theanarchypoet
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Poem I wrote awhile ago
"We are all subjects of fate, ...though we must act as if we are not" - Phillup Paulman
Monogmy is all she wants from me but i see my life and its way to short
I wrote her name on the bullet, that way the whole world would now that she was the last thing to go through my head.
[color=#000000]
Monogmy is all she wants from me but i see my life and its way to short
I wrote her name on the bullet, that way the whole world would now that she was the last thing to go through my head.
[color=#000000]
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Katy
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Re: Poem I wrote awhile ago
I find it a bit on the dark side (but sometimes those are the best subjects!) and the flow is good. The ending (IMO) feels more like a cliffhanger than conclusive. Overall, good job though, it was a nice read. 
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theanarchypoet
- World Crew Member
- Posts: 105
- Joined: 12 Jan 2009 14:06
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Re: Poem I wrote awhile ago
thank you katy
"We are all subjects of fate, ...though we must act as if we are not" - Phillup Paulman
Monogmy is all she wants from me but i see my life and its way to short
I wrote her name on the bullet, that way the whole world would now that she was the last thing to go through my head.
[color=#000000]
Monogmy is all she wants from me but i see my life and its way to short
I wrote her name on the bullet, that way the whole world would now that she was the last thing to go through my head.
[color=#000000]
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KoriHarashi
- World Crew Member
- Posts: 13
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Re: Poem I wrote awhile ago
I like it..But dont you think that your repeating things abit too much..?
Overall it was a great poem, good job.. =]
Overall it was a great poem, good job.. =]
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