late nigts like these kill me

[unknownweirdo]

the clock ticks away from me as my nerves get worse and worse. i have lesson plans i still need to write for my classes and other such work that i just cant do tonight and cant do tomorrow because after class i decided it would be a good idea to go to the jimmy concert here in Philly (good idea? maybe, practical? hell no. stupid? possibly). but i know that's not whats keeping me up. something else is nagging at the pit of my stomach but i just cant put my finger on it. this nameless pull is driving me insane. its suffocating me. just to sit here and think about it, i can come up with list after list of what it could be but none of them seem to be the sole reason. hell maybe its not just one reason. (btw its 2:30 am here) i wont go into private details of my life because lets face it, its all trivial. im sure some of you reading this, if anyone does read this, has more then their share still on their own plates and my pathetic existence has no room there. but even this post is pretty self absorbed isnt? its a horrible spiral ive caught myself in. i can never understand it why the tears fall for no reason. or the hysterical laughter and hyperness i feel minutes later. has it happened? have i finally snapped? good teachers are always crazy right? im sitting here trying to sort through all these stupid toughs and sick puppies came on my itunes playlist and this site hit me. im not posting this for attention or to be patted on the back. im just posting to vent. to know im not crazy. to know what im feeling is real. to know i still exist.

[kamieleanne]

Life's a road of twists and turns. Take a negative, and turn it to a positive. You're not worthless. No one is.

[JayElle]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to vent. You shouldn't feel bad about it! It's not narcissistic, it's necessary =]

Stress sucks, and it comes at the worst possible times, and most of the time we can't do anything about it. I think it's only fair that you have somewhere you can vent, without being judged, and I'm glad that it's here.

I hope everything works out for you, and for what it's worth, the teachers that made the biggest difference in my life were the crazy ones =]

[kamieleanne]