Crazy April Fools joke on the Muse forums...

[miket_825]

I encountered the following message upon signing into my Muse forum account a few minutes ago:
Dear miket_825,
Your account on the Muse Messageboard has been automatically suspended due to offensive language. This activity is now prohibited due to recent revisions to our Terms of Service. If you agree to the revised Terms of Service your account will be reviewed and potentially restored to full usage. Alternatively if you decline or fail to respond this will result in your account's permanent removal. These actions will occur within 5 working days of the issuing of this message.

I'm like... okay.. I didn't use any bad language. And I've seen people use all kinds of horrible language on there and get by. They're Brits, for God's sake. But check out the "Terms of Service".
I know it's long, but read it. It's hilarious.





1. Muse Messageboard
1.1 Your use of http://board.muse.mu (referred to collectively as the "Muse Messageboard" in this document and excluding any services provided to you by Warner Music Group under a separate written agreement) is subject to the terms of a legal agreement between you and Warner Music Group. "Warner" means Warner Music Group. This document explains how the agreement is made up, and sets out some of the terms of that agreement.

1.2 Unless otherwise agreed in writing with Warner, your agreement with Warner will always include, at a minimum, the terms and conditions set out in this document. These are referred to below as the "Universal Terms".

1.3 Your agreement with Warner will also include the terms of any Legal Notices applicable to the Services, in addition to the Universal Terms. All of these are referred to below as the "Additional Terms". Where Additional Terms apply to a Service, these will be accessible for you to read either within, or through your use of, that Service.

1.4 The Universal Terms, together with the Additional Terms, form a legally binding agreement between you and Warner in relation to your use of the Services. It is important that you take the time to read them carefully. Collectively, this legal agreement is referred to below as the "Terms".

1.5 If there is any contradiction between what the Additional Terms say and what the Universal Terms say, then the Additional Terms shall take precedence in relation to that Service.

2. Accepting the Terms
2.1 In order to use the Services, you must firstly agree to the Terms. You may not use the Services if you do not accept the Terms.

2.2 You can accept the Terms by:
(A) clicking to accept or agree to the Terms, where this option is made available to you by Warner in the user interface for any Service; or
(B) by actually using the Services. In this case, you understand and agree that Warner will treat your use of the Services as acceptance of the Terms from that point onwards.

2.3 You may not use the Services and may not accept the Terms if (a) you are not of legal age to form a binding contract with Warner, or (b) you are a person barred from receiving the Services under the laws of the United States and United Kingdom or other countries including the country in which you are resident or from which you use the Services.

2.4 Before you continue, you should print off or save a local copy of the Universal Terms for your records.

3. Language of the Terms
3.1 Where Warner has provided you with a translation of the English language version of the Terms, then you agree that the translation is provided for your convenience only and that the English language versions of the Terms will govern your relationship with Warner.

3.2 If there is any contradiction between what the English language version of the Terms says and what a translation says, then the English language version shall take precedence.

4. Provision of the Services by Warner Music Group & Muse Messageboard.
4.1 Warner and Muse has subsidiaries and affiliated legal entities around the world ("Subsidiaries and Affiliates"). Sometimes, these companies will be providing the Services to you on behalf of Warner itself. You acknowledge and agree that Subsidiaries and Affiliates will be entitled to provide the Services to you.

4.2 You acknowledge Warner's right to retain and store any and all data transferred through its servers. This data, upon submission, becomes Warner's property and gives them full freedom to use it at their own discretion.

4.3 As part of this continuing innovation, you acknowledge and agree that Muse Messageboard may stop (permanently or temporarily) providing the Services (or any features within the Services) to you or to users generally at Warner's sole discretion, without prior notice to you.

4.4 You confirm agreement not to exhaust the Muse Messageboard's Services by use of excessive posting or reading. The term "excessive" is defined by the Moderation and Administration staff's discretion based on the circumstances.

4.5 You acknowledge and agree that if the Muse Messageboard disables access to your account, you may be prevented from accessing the Services, your account details or any files or other content which is contained in your account. Upon termination of your account all ownership of property (in this instance, "posts", "threads" and other uploaded data) is solely transferred to Warner Music Group who are free to use it as they wish.

4.6 Warner is constantly innovating in order to provide the best possible experience for its users. You acknowledge and agree that the form and nature of the Services which the Muse Messageboard provides may change from time to time without prior notice to you.

4.7 In agreement with 4.5 Warner reserves the right to use any of its property whether text or image based for its own endeavors which can in some instances include advertisement materials. This also includes personal information such as email addresses, location, IP identifiable information and private messages.

4.8 In accordance with on going investigations and prosecutions Warner reserve the right to implement third party scanning software on its servers with the intent of scanning all submitted and uploaded material for potential copyright infringement. Any potential infringements found will be investigated and possibly prosecuted to the full extent of the law within the United Kingdom.

5. Use of Services
5.1 Excessive posting, known henceforth as "spam" is to be defined as 10 or more posts per day. Upon making your tenth post your account will be temporarily suspended until midnight of the same day.

5.2 The discussion of other bands (i.e. bands not comprising of Matthew Bellamy, Christopher Wolstenholme and/or Dominic Howard) is strictly forbidden unless contained within the sub-forum titled "Other Bands". This includes all solo, instrumental and classical, as well as traditional artists. Especially Oasis.

5.3 In compliance with Warner's wish to preserve the Muse copyright, Warner forbid all mention of rodents and meerkat on the Muse Messageboard when in affiliation and application to one Matthew Bellamy. Any activity doing so will result in your immediate banning and dismissal from the Messageboard.

5.4 The name "Muse" is strictly to be used to refer to "Matthew Bellamy, Christopher Wolstenholme and Dominic Howard". Any reference to one Morgan Nicholls as part of the band will deemed inappropriate and will thus result in termination of your account.

5.5 Warner wishes to maintain a family friendly atmosphere within all of its Services. As such any discussion of sexual intercourse in a context outside the realms of wedlock is prohibited. If this topic is to be discussed full and proper anatomical terminology must be used and under no circumstances should users share photographic aids.

5.6 Users who make outlandish or ridiculous claims can be officially challenged by the use of the phrase "pics or it never happened". Failure to comply to this request will result in your accounts instant termination. An exception to this rule is where the discussion is related to breasts, in this instance the phrase used is "tits or GTFO" where the female adult in question must instantly post a picture of their bare funbags.

5.7 All female users are required to remain unshaved, Warner is a pro-natural organisation and wishes to instill this ethos within its communities.

5.8 Food related analogies will result in an automatic termination of your account.

5.9 From this moment on official roles and titles shall be acknowledged within the Messageboard. Muse shall be referred to by their official titles, those being, Dr. Matthew Bellamy, Dr. Christopher Wolstenholme and Dr. Dominic Howard. Messageboard staff due to their status will now assume the prefix of "Sir/Madam" depending on their gender. For example Kev shall now be referred to as Sir Kev, while Crazy_bob shall be called Madam Crazy_bob.

5.10 Henceforth it will be acknowledged that Bertha and Kirkbot are in fact real people. Any reference to their automation or apparent robotic nature is forbidden due to section 13.37 in the EU constitution regarding equality and prejudice.

5.11 You agree to use correct english grammar, all posts will automatically be parsed through the Bertha Intelligent Grammar Testing Web Advancement Technology (BIGTWAT) for screening. Users will be marked a score per post. Monthly reviews will remove users who do not have a minimum grammar score of 8.5.

5.12 It is mandatory to use the awesome face wherever possible, whether you understand it or not.

5.13 To limit the overuse of the banter thread you may only post in this thread when there are less than 5 users viewing it. Any attempt at posting when this is the case will result an instant temp ban for 3 months.

5.14 Users who choose to appreciate the beauty and talents of Dr. Bellamy in the officially sanctioned appreciation thread (Pornogenic Matt Thread) must only post at a maximum of 5 times per day out of their allocated 10 posts. This is to give everyone possible a chance to admire him.

5.15 Possessing knowledge that Edzo has returned the Muse Messageboard and not informing the board police instantly will result in a temporary ban of 6570 days.

5.16 By clicking either accept or decline below you acknowledge the significance today's date.

6. General Legal Terminology
6.1 Sometimes when you use the Services, you may (as a result of, or through your use of the Services) use a service or download data. Your use of these other services, software or goods may be subject to separate terms between you and the company or person concerned. If so, the Terms do not affect your legal relationship with these other companies or individuals.

6.2 The Terms constitute the whole legal agreement between you and Warner Music Group and govern your use of the Services (but excluding any services which Warner may provide to you under a separate written agreement), and completely replace any prior agreements between you and Warner in relation to the Services.

6.3 You agree that Warner may provide you with notices, including those regarding changes to the Terms, by email, regular mail, or postings on the Services.

6.4 You acknowledge and agree that each member of the group of companies of which Warner is the parent shall be third party beneficiaries to the Terms and that such other companies shall be entitled to directly enforce, and rely upon, any provision of the Terms which confers a benefit on (or rights in favour of) them. Other than this, no other person or company shall be third party beneficiaries to the Terms.

6.5 The Terms, and your relationship with Warner under the Terms, shall be governed by English law. You and Warner agree to submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England to resolve any legal matter arising from the Terms. Notwithstanding this, you agree that Warner all still be allowed to apply for injunctive remedies (or an equivalent type of urgent legal relief) in any jurisdiction.


So I just clicked "Accept" saying, "Oh, what the hell." And then I get redirected to a post that says "April Fools!" and highlights some of the obscenely ridiculous Terms I agreed to. It's midnight over there in UK. ^_^ Crazy Brits.

[Pwneress]

I'm hoping EvThreads does something this year.

[Becky]

That's funny. I didn't read the whole thing, but I get the idea.

[miket_825]

Yeah... it looked extremely offical and even had the whole copyright Warner Music Company 2009 thing in the corner. I was like, "What the hell?" XD

[BrettL]

This is just an April fools joke my buddies and I played on one of my friends older brother, but we took one of my friends Suzuki Hayabusa and we did a burnout in his garage at 5am to wake him up. Lets just say he was PISSED! (BTW the Suzuki Hayabusa is one of the fastest motorcycles ever built, so it was loud as hell) Haha

[miket_825]

[BrettL]

It was, till i realised i had to go to school in an hour and a half

[aforbes]

That is mildly hilarious

[BrettL]

^^Was that to me?

[Missy]

I think he was talking about the thread topic...

[aforbes]

[BrettL]

Oh oh, Yeah lol