You saved my life

[MGaber]

It started my Junior year in high school, 2008-2009. I was in a band with my 3 best friends in the entire world. Then came along this great girl my Senior year. I was all she wanted. Her entire world revolved around me. Then about 6 months later, we kicked out drummer out of the band, and that's where it starts going down hill. I lose him first. About 2 months later, our lead guitarist/singer asked me why our rhythm guitarist always talked about him and his girlfriend behind his back, and why he always made fun of him. Well because he was my actual "best" friend out of the band, I told him. Well we ended up kicking our rhythm guitarist out of the band. After that the band broke up for the most part because we didn't have a place to practice and my friend started college and he did the majority of the song writing. All my other friends from high school either became douche bags, went to college, became drug addicts, or a combination of the 3. So I was pretty much lost all my friends. That's okay though, because I was in love with my girlfriend and she always cheered me up.

Lets skip ahead to about November of 2010. She was 16, I was 18. I had stayed over at her house hundreds of times, and her parents loved me to death, so I moved in. At about the same time 2 other guys moved in to. Her parents are great people; they would take in teenagers who were kicked out of their homes and help them find new places to stay or until they got jobs and were able to support themselves in some way. Well the 2 guys who also moved in didn't help out when it came to taking care of the house, or putting food on the table. Because of that, and because my girlfriend and I were so young, we started arguing with all the stress in the house. At the beginning of July of this year, we couldn't take it anymore and we broke up.

It was the single worst feeling of my life. After I took in the fact that what happened was real, it dawned on me that I was alone. She was gone, all my old friends were gone. I was by myself. I even went as shallow as trying to change myself and buying people off to be my friends. For 2 months I sat in my room alone hating everything. I was suicidal. When everyone I ever needed always ended up leaving me alone. I was kicking and screaming while I drown in the ashes. I'm sure you guys realize I'm referring to My World. One day I was just in my room listening to music on Youtube when out of nowhere I found a video by you guys, and I decided to listen to it, not knowing that was the beginning of the rest of my life. I wanted to die. I wanted to put a gun in my mouth or swallow a bunch of pills and just fall asleep, but I was too afraid. The next best thing I could think of was to empty my bank account and just leave. I told so many people I wanted to do that, and no one seemed to care. I know there are a ton of people out there who are worse off than I am, but when you end up locked in your room with no one caring about you, it's a horrible feeling! When I listened to you guys on Youtube something inside me changed. I had listened to your songs before, but for some reason, whatever song I heard on that day must have been the helping hand that started to put me back together.

The very first chance I got, I went to a music store and bought your Deluxe Edition Tri-Polar album. I listened to both CD's twice, and realized I needed to go buy your Dressed Up As A Life album as well. I listened to both of your albums a billion times over. Your songs were/are slowly stitching the patches onto my wounds and I liked it. Some songs made me want to punch and scream, others wanted to make me cry. But not a single song didn't make me happy or feel better in a certain way. I was listening to Tri-Polar one day when I decided it was time for a change. I love music, so I enrolled in college for music. I got a hair cut, lost weight, stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped trying to reach out to people for help like they were my White Balloons (yes, another song reference).

Now the first quarter of college is almost over, I've realized I want to be a music teacher, and I've started taking Piano Lessons! Finals are next week. I'm doing okay in Math, and in Music I've got at least a 90%. Even if I bomb the final, I'll pass. I've met 2 new great friends, and a girl who I tried to date but ended up just playing games so I let her go. Anyways, my life is slowly getting better. Starting to make a few friends, but I'm still single. Sometimes that part still gets me down, or the fact these 2 new friends live so far away, but I seem to get over it eventually. I've even helped 3 people from committing suicide since I discovered you as my emotional outlet. I listen to your songs everyday. Maybe 1 song, maybe every song you've made. I even found your version of f*ck You on Youtube and I love it! I'm not asking for anyone's sympathy, and I don't even know if you will read this, or if anyone will read this and actually care! It's impossible for me to thank you, but I have to at least try. Without you, you not only saved my life, but you saved 3 others as well. Thank you so much. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart and I don't want you to ever stop writing songs!

[josiep]

you've been blessed with this band as we have!!

sending you a hug

welcome aboard.....here and to your new life!!!

josie

[Snowmonkies]

I read the whole thing, it sucks that all of that had to happen in the first place *shakes head* It's really great that you've gotten back on your feet I hope you continue to get better